Review of Olympics

Review: London 2012 Olympics.
The Olympics are upon us for the first time in I don’t know how many years. I could Google it, but it hardly seems worth it, this isn’t a history lesson, it’s a game review. So the Olympics have come to London and with it has come the world’s largest McDonalds, an Olympic stadium and village which cost more than the gulf war and the silver lining? Wifi on the Tube. Well, not quite the tube, only on the station platforms. Riding the tube is as dormant for signal as ever.
So with the swelling anticipation of the London 2012 Olympic Games, I went out to pick up a copy of the accompanying game produced by Sega; remember them. Sat at home, with an abundance of wifi signal and free to eat whatever chips I damn well please, I fired up my console to experience what will take place in Stratford later this month. Hit with that god-awful mess of a logo which someone was paid fortunes to design, you’re met with more of the same fluorescent colours through the selection pages produced with a BBC-esque finish.
The track events are probably the most boring pieces of gameplay ever designed. Pong was more engaging than this. Pouring a hot cup of tea onto my lap would bring more excitement into the room. From 100m sprint to 400m slog, the only controls you need to use is the A button, no steering necessary, no concentration necessary. Just tap away furiously until RSI sets in.
The field events are far more interesting and are really quite fun in Multiplayer mode. A few drinks and a group of friends gets quite competitive with javelin and high jump, however, hardly anyone could master the controls for Frisbee, er, I mean discus.
In the Aquatics centre, the swimming events were a little more interesting compared to the track events, but diving was were the fun was at. Sessioning the dive events with all the excitement and anticipation of an egg and spoon race, you can make your athlete do all the flips and rotations necessary, and force him to land belly-flop. The child in me enjoyed this greatly, almost as much as making my athlete in the gymnastics events face-plant into the ground.
It still astonishes me how ping-pong ever made it as an Olympic sport, table tennis… So why not table-football eh? I’ll take ping-pong seriously when foosball makes it into the Olympics. This event, however, was highly addictive and, to be honest, one of my favourites in the whole game.
Other events which were fun include the cool kayaking event and skeet shooting, but rapid fire pistol is just ridiculous, 6 seconds to shoot four targets including zooming in is just almost impossible.
Despite the more mundane levels, there are some within the London 2012 Olympics which are good fun, especially when playing in a group. However, I find the events limiting and restrictive. For instance, when diving or doing gymnastics, your movements are governed by the controls demanded of you, so no room for creativity or flamboyance in your turns, but as mentioned, you can make them land on their face, which makes up for it.
Like an adult entering a Primary school sports day, the London 2012 Olympics game is full of relatively simple tasks, which you can master easily. Single player, not really worth it, but great for multiplayer at a party.
Overall, much like the real Olympics will leave our country, the game left me saddled with debt and a feeling of bitter disappointment.

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